This blog post will explore what conflict avoidance is, why people do it, and the consequences of doing so. We will also offer tips for dealing with conflict in a healthy way. Remembering all the good times you had with this person helps to defuse the ticking bomb inside you as you saturate your language with reassurance and comfort. Let the other person know how much you appreciate and value their relationship.

how to deal with someone who avoids conflict

Early in my career I took a job reporting to someone who had a reputation for being difficult. Plenty of people warned me that she would be hard to work with, but I thought I could handle it. I prided myself on being able to get along with anyone. ​An organization run by AI is not a futuristic concept. Such technology is already a part of many workplaces and will continue to shape the labor market and HR. Here’s how employers and employees can successfully manage generative AI and other AI-powered systems.

Ask a third party for help.

If you’re afraid of strong emotions or if you insist on finding solutions that are strictly rational, your ability to face and resolve differences will be limited. The needs of each party play an important role in the long-term success of a relationship. In personal relationships, a lack of understanding about differing needs can result in distance, arguments, and break-ups.

how to deal with someone who avoids conflict

During a conflict, you can remind yourself to breathe deeply. For example, you might practice reminding your boss about your boundaries and that they agreed to your boundaries in the first place. You also might double-check your company’s policy on after-hours phone calls, as you can use this policy as a backup. These thoughts might make it difficult for you to face conflict.

Conflict Avoidance in Relationships: What is it and why does it happen?

If they know how much they mean to you, they will be more receptive to what you have to say, if you say it in a gentle and calm way. Make their actions, not who they are, as a point of reference. “When you did/said this, it made me feel angry/sad/disappointed, etc. because _________.” That sounds much better than “you don’t care about me! It’s always about you and you never take my feelings into consideration!

Putting firm boundaries in place is also a good way to handle difficult relationships with friends and in social settings. Make your limits clear and communicate what behavior you will and will not tolerate. Be willing to leave a gathering if necessary to preserve your peace of mind. “The how to deal with someone who avoids conflict negative side effects of conflict avoidance are often high turnover, a dysfunctional working environment, strained communication, loss of productivity and impaired teamwork,” Hearn said. For example, conflict can be an opportunity to share your feelings and become closer to your partner.

Working with People Who Avoid Conflict

Fortunately, what’s good for flighters turns out to be good for everyone. Flighters might just need a little extra encouragement and support. Many people dislike conflict, but in some cases, conflict avoidance can harm your relationships and health. There are many reasons you may be engaging in conflict avoidant behavior in your relationship. Discovering the source of your fears surrounding confrontation can be a good place to begin overcoming the issue.

Learning how to confront someone assertively won’t happen overnight. But you can still take small steps each day toward feeling more comfortable facing your fears and speaking up for yourself. Some form of conflict is a normal part of our personal and professional lives. Rather than endlessly ruminate and allow conflicts to fester in your head, try taking a more assertive approach.

Approach-avoidance conflict vs. fear of negative evaluation theories

Does your friend often turn to alcohol to deal with stress? If you’re not sure, think about all the times you have hung out with this person. Can you remember a time when he or she did not have a drink in hand? In addition to a bad upbringing which induced shame and low self-esteem, alcohol only weakens the person’s ability to handle stress and conflict.